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Oh Hai! March 14, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Drama, Life.
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I completely forgot about my blog!  I have been busy busy doing lots of stuff, mainly annoying the crap out of everyone on my Facebook.   I am back now and will slowly fil you in on everything I have been up to.

Tonight: I had a family BBQ nothing  special. I was telling everyone how I did the Dr Phil personality quiz on facebook  and he said I was Self-centred, Vain and something else starting with L and my nana goes “What a lesbian?” and I was like “err… no but  I’ll work on that yeah?”


I really had no idea what to say to that. I guess a word starting with “L” is a pretty open thing but a lesbian wouldnt have been the first thing I would have picked.

New Blog:  I have a new blog with all of my writing and random stuff on it. I will still have this blog but all of my poems and stories will be kept seperate over there.

Linky Link

Theres not much up there at the moment just old stuff from like way back and whatever is on Deviantart.  So head over and comment or.. whatever..

Father:  Is seriously annoying! For the past two weekends we’ve had the same conversation. He  claims he’s waiting ALL DAY for me to go somewhere when I tell him at 10am that I’m ready to go whenever.   Its happened two weekends in a row and I get so mad because hes fucking around doing whatever and then blaming me for not being ready or telling him I’m ready when I’m sitting in the lounge with my shoes on dressed  and ready to go for hours on end.  Whatever. I yelled at him yesterday.

Returned to work:  Last Thursday. Will  write about that more tomorrow.

Love n hugs


Taking the Plunge February 16, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Radical Self-Love 2010.
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Gala has posted 100 ways  to start loving yourself right now for self radical love month.  Since I had an entirely crappy day today I have decided to start doing some of them tonight and tomorrow.

Wanna know about my crappy day? I tried on my old work pants (even though I brought new ones) they didnt fit (obviously) so I ate an entire bag of chips. I havent had an entire bag of chips since… Orobably this time last year I’d say so while it is a set back its not a massive set back. Once I was done I felt gross because of all the fat and salt in them but whats done is done and I will  not do it again.

One of the ways to start  loving yourself right now is to have a total media blackout. Thats no tv, no phone, no computer. OMG! CANNOT EVEN NCONSIDER. So since my awesome phone is currently not working as the awesome XT network is down AGAIN I figure why not do it tomorrow?

I am going to have to use the television and dvd player when I work out tomorrow but in exchange for this I will not use my ipod instead. NO IPOD.

By removing all the media and computer I will have more time for myself heres what I intend to do tomorrow.

– work out

– re-write some of my old writings

– write out two apology letters by hand (so I dont say things I dont mean). The importance of these apology letters is for myself only I’m going to apologise and then get over it. I have a slight tendancy to hold a grudge or two.

– just write whatever pops into my head.

-Finish the book I’m currently reading (blood promise)

– Look for my missing dvd

Thats all I can think of right now but hopefully there will be more  things to do.

Dont miss me too much tomorrow 🙂

Love n hugs


Self Radical Love Diary Entry: 13 Feb 2010 February 16, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Life, Radical Self-Love 2010.
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I debated with myself over posting this but since I wrote this in my  journal I have felt so much better so what the hell I’ll let you read it.

I watch my favourite movie, Your name appears

I watch ny favourite television show, your name appears

Watching an advertisement on television, your name appears.

Before I started my self -love journey I hadnt thought you you in years and now you’re all I think about, comsuming my every thought.

I used to think I was incapable of loving someone

and then I met you

Now  I think I’m incapable of loving anyone but you

I know  you dont love me now.

What scares me the most is that maybe, you  didnt love me at all

Even so I will still be incapable of not loving you.

Am I better off thinking you never did? Or thinking you did and now




Happy Valentines Day! February 13, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Life.

Originally I wasnt going to acknowledge Valentines day in a postive way I had a quote that went a little something like this

“Valentines is just a day  exploited by marketing giants trying to fill the void between Christmas and Easter.”

That was until I read Em’s valentines day post and I realised that  Em is right, even though I  am single its no reason to shun Valentines day. So here is a nice happy post.

Thinking about Valentines day I realised  I’ve only ever had one Valentines gift and that was back in highschool. I always seem to be with someone after Valentines day.

If you are part of a couple I hope you have treated your partner to lots of love stuffs and I hope they have done the same.

If you are alone I hope you spend the day treating yourself to all things that make you happy!

Remember even though Valentines Day is in February you dont have to wait until now to show your partner how much you love them you coul suprise them at any time and not just when you’re in the dog box either!

Today it was raining and very, very windy so I spent it reading and listening to old mix cds (Cant get enough of them and I have alot!). Tonight I watched “Cruel Intentions” and am now watching “the fast, the furious”. I did intend to watch The fast & The furious but I cant find the DVD 😦 Sad.

Anyway I am missing out on the hotness that is vin Diesel and Paul Walker

Love n hugs


Radical Self – Love: Week one. February 12, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Life, Radical Self-Love 2010.
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While in the beginning I intended to write daily posts  of my journal entires I have decided not to because what I have been writing is very personal and kind of involves people in my present life even if they are not activiely in my life their presence is known. Anyway  should  I decide to disclose this website one day I would not like for them to see this – not that they would actually come here I dont think but I’d rather not take the chance.

Heres What I can tell you.  I have began to take more pride in myself, in my appearance and especially how I am towards other people.

I have gone from exercising once a day for up to three times a day because I am finding I want to do it because I deserve to be fit and healthy.

I am trying my best to be postive  but at the moment I am also trying to  write in missing peices from my movel which is mainly the sad depressing stuff. Being a writer I  really get into my characters heads which means for the past week its been all depressing teenage angst but I am nearly finished with  it so thats somethig positive!

Through all of the ups and downs of this first week I am very glad that I have started this and cant wait to see whats in store for the following weeks.

Love n hugs


Things I love Thursday! February 11, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Life.
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Isnt my picture just gorgeous?  So cute!

I completely forgot that I  used to do this so its time to go back and celebrate things I love!

-Rain! I love it when it rains, the smell, the atmosphere and just the look of the sky all of it just makes me happy. Although this would probably change after a week of constant rain!

– Listening to old Hhighschool mix cds! Yes before I had three ipods I had to reply on cds. Some of them are really funny but most consist of Disturbed, Linkin Park and Limp bizkit (I refuse to mention Jlo, 50cent, jagged edge and Ja rule)

– Re-connecting with old friends. Over the past year I just didnt feel like doing anything incuding tlaking to friends. I am very lucky that alot of my friends have been accepting of this nd welcomed me back!!

– New zealands hottest baker tv show. Am I the only one not watching this for the baking skills? rayson is yummy!!

– Work out dvds!  They inflict pain on me but they are alot of fun. However, when I do Carmen Ecectra’s fit to stip work out I wonder why she looks good and I just look un co-ordinated!

– Making Chocolate Brownie from scratch the other day for my birthday dinner it was very good

Whats making you guys happy? do you have any cringe-worthy old mix cd’s or tapes?

Love n hugs


The Playgirl’s Guide To Radical Self-Love February 8, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Life, Radical Self-Love 2010.
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GalaDarling is hosting the  The Playgirl’s Guide To Radical Self-Love for the month of February. In true fashion I am late as always but this hasnt stoped my eagerness.

Last year Gala did a simular exercise called iCiNG Transformation Challenge which I found really helpful and totally inspiring. I managed to lose alot of weight during the exercise. I like to think had certain events of last year not happened I would have kept it up.

However, I cant do anything about that so this year I am going to do the self love challenge and hopefully I’ll get a chance to make it stick.

Basically this month is going to be about learning to love everything about yourself and seeing beauty in the world you live in .  These days there is so much pressure to be thin, pretty and perfect twenty four hours a day seven days a week. It can get iresome and its not good for our self image. these days we’re too busy to notice the small things  that surriound us. Its time to stop, step back and take notice of everything.

Each persons journey will be different but we can all join together and disscuss stuff and help each other out.

The first peice of homework was to find a journal of some sort, write a quote or draw a picture of love that will inspire us to start our journey.

Heres my journal and Totem but I dont have a pic of my quote  by camera battery went flat right as I was taking it.

I will try to post daily write ups of what I’m doing as well as normal posts about other stuff incase this isnt everyone scup of tea.

Love n hugs


Site update! February 8, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Uncategorized.
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Updated “My Story Page”  with a pretty pic of my brain.

Thanks all.

Little Miss Grumpy February 7, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Drama, Life.
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I intended to  do  some posting, putting up the blogroll etc but by the end of Friday I was so grumpy you wouldnt have wanted to see a post from me. Honestly I was seriously grumpy.

A couple of good things came out of me being grumpy. Livejournal the place where I normally hang out when I’m on the internet is having some sort of tantrum so  with not blogging or not going on livejournal I had very little things to do.  I ended up going through my google reader and although I havent commented on everyones blogs I am back into reading them and will try to get to everyones blogs on a regular basis.

Whle in my travels I wentto GalaDarlings blog she’s such an incredible chick, shes a kiwi but I think shes back in the states? I’m not sure its so hard to keep track of her. anyway this month she is doing The Playgirl’s Guide to Radical Self-love! I think its just what I need at the moment. Although I’m doing different exercise videos in an effort to lose the weight I’ve gained I’m not really looking after myself so look out for more of  posts to do with her guide this month! I’m quite excited.

I also managed to listen to The timetravellers wife on Audiobook.  Along with many books on my bookshelf I had started reading this one but never finished. I’m getting back into it and actually remember some things that have happened I havent seen the movie so I’m really looking forward to finishing the end of  it.

It really amazes me how much I can acomplish by not being on one website! Clearly I spend too much free time there.

So I’m off to go write up my blog roll and set up some widgets and what not.

If you’re in new zealand I hope you are enjoying whats left of your Waitangi  Weekend. If you’re overseas I hope you are not caught in the epic blizzard.

Love n hugs


Happy Birthday! February 5, 2010

Posted by missqueenb in Life.
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To me!

My birthday was yesterday the fourth of feb. It was quite a good day. For me it was quite a   different day compared to last year. Last year in the January before I was turning twenty-three  I was freaking out. I was twenty-three, living at home, single and not doing what I wanted with my life. This year I’m twenty-four, living at home single and attempting to do what I want with my life such a small change in perspective yet I cant beleive how happier I am this year compared to last year. Even with all the crap with ex friends and family stuff going on its nothing compared to how I felt last year. I dont know if its to do with the brain tumor or if I’ve just matured and realised exactly how lucky I am.

Thanks for listening to me babble  now I have a gift for you!

This lovely man candy is alex pettyfer…  Enjoy!

Oh while I have you here I decided to delete all my posts from last year, alot of them were written in a hurry and they sucked so I decided to delete them all.

I’m sorry about my lack of internet communication too I  have been trying to spend more time reading, exercising, finishing my story etc which means something had to slide. I have since finished editing my story but I havent finished it like I thought I had see in my head I know what happens so I thought I must have finished it because I passed the word count and all that but no apparently not so I have to go and finish it up and then spend some more time on aspects of the story. Busy busy.

It doesnt help when I planned to spend today doing alot of things but ended up spending it chasing around a ginger kitten trying to get it to go home seriously all it did was jump over the fence and come back again and again from about 8am til 3pm thats a long time to be running round after a kitten. I thought my cats would’ve assisted in the process but they just watched. Love my cats.

I’m off to watch Adventureland and write some long awaited emails.

Love n hugs